Words: Annia Baron

I was thirteen years old and the infec­tious beat of “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” was thumping hard from the chunky speakers on each side of the DJ. Inside the school community hall, students were celebrating the end of term with a supervised disco, and I was buzz­ing with excitement. My romantic crush had arrived at the party, and I knew that this would be the night I would have my first kiss. The anticipation of a magical experience electrified my cells and filled me with a sense of buoyancy I’d never known. But like the jarring sound of a vinyl record scratching on the turn table, everything changed in an instant and my jubilation disappeared faster than fog from the smoke machine on the dance floor. My first kiss was terrible. It felt like a collision course of darting rotations and erratic movements. Thankfully, the kisses that have been planted since, have made up for that measly pash.

The act of kissing triggers a delectable cascade of neurochemicals that ben­efit your psychological and physical wellbeing. Kissing ignites the flames of dopamine, which is the neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward, so a good smooch can elevate your mood and leave you feeling happier and more content. An intentional kiss also acts like a stop sign for the driving force behind cortisol production – your stress hormone – so it helps reduce the feelings of general anxiety. Kissing not only has a calming effect on the body and mind, but it can also improve your immune system. When you exchange saliva through this intimate act, you’re subjecting the body to different germs and pathogens, and this exposure is how your immune cells create anti-bodies that build up resilience to illness. From an evolution­ary perspective, the act of kissing is a biological exchange of rich, sensory data that deepens romantic connection and on a subconscious level, continues to strengthen genetic and emotional com­patibility. Couples who kiss each other frequently often report higher levels of long-term fulfillment, and research has found that even a brief, purposeful kiss can become a powerful nonverbal cue that elicits trust, mutual respect, and safety, becoming another deposit in a couple’s emotional bank account.

Regardless of whether your first kiss was akin to fireworks in the sky or a misfired dud, memories of our first kisses are often easily accessible because they are a vivid representation of novelty, brain chemistry, and emotional intensity. But how often do we think about what our last kiss will be like? To never be kissed again, by the one you love is an inevita­ble sorrow many of us will experience. If you knew that your next kiss could be your last, would you treat each kiss with the honour it deserves?

The morning rush to work would be interrupted by a slow-paced glance, a delicate embrace, and the culmination of care for one another in the form of a soft, moist, fastigium of pleasure. The casual remark, “Just heading out to get some milk, honey” could turn into a spellbinding experience, and every quick peck on the cheek would linger into a luminous, poignant exchange of ado­ration. Could you imagine? Burst after burst of neurochemical fountains spilling out from inside our brains. The world could change in an instant and the flow on effects would be immeasurable, with huge shifts in our general pace of life. By tasting the conscious tincture that only comes from the act of our lips and tongue gliding against one another, we would grow mindful of our actions, our attention, and our time. More connected lovers would mean happier partnerships. Happier relationships would equal peace­ful communities. From the crankiest abalone fishermen to the most uptight high stakes corporate banker, everyone would float to work with a serotonin-fu­elled mind. Love and happiness would be the primary agenda, and it could all start with how we choose to make every kiss, our last.

Before you decide to pay for a facial, consider that passionate kissing activates up to thirty-four muscles in the face. The micro-circulation of facial tissue that occurs during an enjoyable kiss enhances the production of collagen and elastin. These are the building blocks that help skin appear smooth and firm. Plus, with all the endorphins floating throughout your system, your face will be glowing for days!

Annia Baron is a Clinical Psycholo­gist & Mindset Coach. Want to create a life you desire and deserve? Get in touch @anniabaron or visit www.remindyourself.com