He sits there, engrossed in what he’s doing. He’s trying to figure out how to balance the objects he has before him and stack them high towards the ceiling. I predict that in about 10 seconds, he’s going to be disappointed because what he’s attempting to do won’t work. His spatial awareness at three years of age isn’t sophisticated, so I find myself saying, “Here, I’ll show you.” But my son wants to do it all by himself. “No, mum, not like that,” he asserts. I’m anticipating the structure to collapse but to my surprise, it doesn’t. He does it his way and it works.

There’s a Japanese proverb ‘Mitsugo no Tamashii hyaku made’ which means ‘A person’s character at three years old is their character at one hundred.’ Toddlers are the best. They say exactly what’s on their mind, and with about 50% more synapses in their brain compared to adults, they absorb information like a sponge, making them incredibly fast learners. Although we typically associate toddlerhood with tantrums and joke about the ‘terrible twos’ or the ‘thunderous threes’, the truth is, toddlers have a highly attuned emotional regulation system. They feel everything and allow emotions to rise to the surface. They express feelings with authenticity, and then they move on. Little ones don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. They embody the spirit of being in the present moment, in the here and now. In many respects, kids have got life figured out better than some adults.

In our modern world, with endless prescriptions for raising children – tips on sleeping, feeding, weaning, and so on – it can be quite pressurising. And when it comes to education, there are various schools of thought – private, public, Montessori, Steiner, homeschooling or even radical unschooling. There’s no one right way to bring up a child, just like there’s no one correct approach to describe the experience of witnessing the hue of colours splashed across an evening sky. Parents follow their heart and create spaces, places, and experiences that suit them and their families. But what all adults can agree on is that if we want the world to be a better place, the change starts with us.

Conscious parenting is an invitation to see children as their own unique beings who can enlighten us on how to become more self-aware. Rather than forcing behaviours and expectations onto kids, it asks parents to be mindful of their own language, subconscious habits, and emotional reactions. Dr Shefali Tsabary, Clinical Psychologist and New York Times best selling author on this topic, encourages parents to become in tune with their emotional triggers and stop repeating unhelpful patterns we may have picked up from our own parents. We’re invited to let go of ideas of what parent­ing ‘should’ look like and explore the depth of beauty that resides in the essence of our young ones. Tsabary notes that by doing so, the child generates a feeling of being more fully accepted, and ultimately, this allows children to feel more con­nected to their parents.

Sadhguru, founder of the Isha Foundation and advocate for educational, environ­mental and spiritual activities suggests to parents not to rush this phase of life, and instead, make it a time to learn, not to teach. He says, “What do you know about life to teach your children? A few survival tricks are the only things you can teach. Please compare yourself to your child and see who is capable of more joy? Your child, isn’t it? If he knows more than you, who is better qualified to be a consultant about life, you or him?”

No matter the perspective, the desired outcome remains unchanged. Every parent wants their child to grow up happy, healthy, and with good support. Every caregiver hopes their child becomes successful. We all wish for them, what we want for ourselves, which is to honour who we really are, so we can make a meaningful impact in this world. It’s not about parenting ideologies, you don’t have to stick to an authoritarian or permissive parenting regime. It’s more about asking ourselves, ‘How can I better grow myself in the interest of being a role model for the next generation?’ These aren’t questions only for parents, they apply to everyone. ‘How can I become more in tune with my thought patterns, decisions, and actions to elevate my life and let my best self shine?’

If I have the privilege to live to 100 years, it will be an honour to embody my three-year old’s playful, cheeky, and affection­ate nature. But in all honesty, the best thing I can do for him is to leave myself out of things more often. He does know best. He just needs his mum to continue loving the process of learning, catching those pesky triggers, and compassionately working on dissolving all the unhelp­ful programming many of us grew up with. Sadhguru also reminds us, “If you are genuinely interested in giving your children a good upbringing, you should first transform yourself into a peaceful and loving human being.”

Whether building towers made from wooden blocks, planting fruit trees in the garden, doing yoga together, or messily baking our favourite banana bread, I look forward to more of, “No mum, not like that.”

This is my thank you, to all children. You are wondrous beings who continue to teach us so much about the important things in life. I want to be more like you, now and at 100.

Annia Baron is a Clinical Psychologist & Mindset Coach. Want to learn about mindset tools to create a life you desire and deserve? Get in touch on Instagram @anniabaron or visit www.remindyourself.com